Last week was Thanksgiving - an American holiday I wholeheartedly embrace & have come to love! Tasty turkey & pumpkin pie, & the excuse to hang with friends mid-week - what's not to enjoy?
Here is one of our dear friends & generous hosts - Courtney - & the turkey she perfected..
Thanksgiving is a milestone we are pleased to have passed, as it marked in our minds the anticipated arrival of the twins. Around these calendar days we expected either (a) 2 little bundles depriving us of sleep or (b) 1 enormous belly depriving me of sleep. Either away, we miss every part of the picture.
I've found it important to not let my mind wander too often in the direction of how life could be right now had things gone smoothly. Life is busy & full & we are delighting in so much of it! But I did want to acknowledge this particular time of the year.
Days of significance deepen our experience of loss & my icky questions circle around more frequently...
I don't know why I'm here writing about loss, instead of deliriously describing a new baby's fingers & toes.
I don't know why we're having to wait to experience the joy of being new parents.
I don't know why others sail through pregnancy with ease.
I don't know why Jack & Lucy can't be here in our family.
Being a follower of God hasn't given me the answers to a lot of our questions. Instead, it's given me Jesus. I don't say that lightly or as a cliche. I wander from this truth daily & have to bring myself back - "I have Jesus".
He is more than enough to fill the void of unanswered questions; to carry the weight of my anxiety; to bring joy through times of sadness; & offer true hope in our bleakest days. He has come like a light in the darkness & I am thankful.